Gone, but not Forgotten...

despite my not having posted here in a while, i have not forgotten this space or my goals to become a more positive person. life has been a series of ups and downs, but i choose to focus mainly on the positives, only looking at the negatives to learn the lessons they were put there to teach me. i don't always learn the lesson, and yes, sometimes i dwell a little too long in the anger/sadness/etc surrounding them. but i'm trying.

recently, i have been opening my eyes to something that has truly held me back in life -- myself. more specifically, my fears. i have always thought of myself as a cautious person, a realist. but i've come to realize that much of the rationalizing i do only serves to make me fail at things before i even attempt them.

don't take that leap, you might fall.

don't sing that song, you might be off key.

don't speak up, you might be wrong.

but then, there's this:

i have been making a conscious effort to face my own fears, even when i don't realize that it's fear i'm feeling.

whenever i catch myself saying "no" to something, i try to ask myself why. quite often, i realize that the only reason i hold back from trying something is my fear of failure...my fear of making a fool out of myself. 

but y'know what?

saying "yes" in the face of fear has landed me an amazing husband, a house i love, and a job that, while trying at times, i think i'm kicking a little bit of butt at.

my fears are like a river, and i just need to build a bridge and get over it.

don't be scurred.